Can I tickle your PUNny bone? Actually scratch that. I know I’ve been distant lately. And although I love generating a good laugh, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies here. In fact, it’s been a little hard I’ll admit. Don’t get me wrong, I live a full and extremely happy life. It’s just sometimes I don’t know where to put all my thoughts, care’s and love. And that’s OK.
In the past I learned not to rely on too many people. In fact I thrived off of never needing help. Reference: when I was 24, I had a six pack and a perky backside and people often ask me how many crunches I did to which I would smugly reply “Its natural, I don’t need to go to the gym.“ I know, I know, I’m a fine specimen of humility and sooooo not a twit.
I did a good job of living in the present. With no thoughts to the future, I lived a vibrant wildly entertaining life but with no one to share it with and almost zero concern for my future. Now with two kids and a very dedicated husband, my concerns are solely to the future. Funny how things flip. It almost went without notice. The fear enveloping in the back of my brain… the worrying creeping up. It was beginning to fester. Like an unwanted guest moving in. Taking more and more space until, I realized I was putting all my concern in the “what if” and the “future sorrows” I might metaphorically face.
Feeling alone in my thoughts, alone in my house with the responsibility of parenting two children began to weigh on me like a burden. After a week in general un-wellness and the inability to work and engage my creative energy, I turned to my Bible, prayer and the ear of loved ones in my life. My approach to this gloomy cloud was to take it head on and stop myself from giving in to the negative thoughts in my head. Easier said than done I might add. You see, I’ve been humbled by life. That arrogant person I used to be, said and did immensely irreversible damage to herself and others. I left a trail of tears, faded relationships, and myself? I was just a shell of a person.
Then I met my husband, his kind family and before I knew it, my whole environment changed. I fell almost instantly in to contentment. So you might ask, how can someone be happy and worried at the same time? How can worry exist among so many people, with so much love, it was bursting at the seams? By turning my love for others into fear. Letting negative thoughts penetrate my peaceful existence and forgetting to leave them at the cross.
I had forgotten my faith was my strength. That weapons will be forged against me but that doesn’t mean they will penetrate my soul. I am on #teamGod. But somewhere along the way I had misplaced my armor. I am not an evangelistic person. AT ALL. I don’t feel that is where my strengths lie. In fact, there’s a whole lot of things I don’t know even being a person of faith. But that’s okay with me. This is the only way I know how to share it. This is my story and it’s my weakness but I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. If you aren’t constantly trying to pursue God, you will become complacent, like my aforementioned story. That certainly doesn’t mean God is disappointed in you. He loves you so much and he believes in you. He want’s to give you your best and to crush any worries that you might have. I got super preachy huh?
↓ Scroll down to see how I conquered my anxiety ↓
Here’s a few things I do when I’m experiencing fear, nervousness and anxiety:
✓ Talk to a close friend/family member. Express your concerns. Sometimes hearing them said out loud makes them seem so impractical and silly. You might just have a good laugh about it later!
✓ Listen to a helpful podcast. There are sooo many that have aided in my relief. May I suggest Mosaic, The Potters House at ONE LA, JourneyWomen and Risen Motherhood? Look for topics on “fear” and “worry.”
✓ Think positively. So, so, so hard but so worth the try! I tend to look for mantra’s on Pinterest or verses in the Bible that I can repeat to get my brain functioning on the good. I once heard a pastor say that think the opposite of a terrible thought. If you can create this awful thought and dwell in it, you most certainly can create the opposite. He called it “the highest thought.” Thinking about the most wonderful ways your life can move does give a great sense of hope. I also always try and remember that out of all the negative thoughts conjured up in my head, so far, none have come true. Not one.
✓ Take care of yourself. Maybe lay off the caffeine and alcohol. Try to substitute tea and balanced meals that are easy to digest. Work out at home and maybe do some yoga. But exercising will really help. It actually brings your mood up!
✓ Help & care for others. Does someone need asistance? Would your husband appreciate a back massage? Ask yourself how you can help others. It’s a great way to shift your mindset to something else. Plus, it will give you joy knowing you’ve spread love.
✓ Pray. Prayer is powerful. Having faith is essential to moving from negative to positive. Fear is a real feeling and it’s not necessarily bad. Sometimes we experience fear to move us out of where we are, analyze where we could go, then, take the necessary moves to get there. Remembering that Jesus experienced fear before he was crucified gives me hope and makes me feel that it’s normal and it will pass.
✓ It WILL pass. After time, it will fade but don’t get caught up in how long it will take. Trust in timing. Everyone is different. ♥️
If you want more, follow my pinterest board “quoted” and send me a DM. I’d love to pray for you. Lets be friends too! Leave a comment and let me know if this was helpful.
I wrote about anxiety before on the blog and received so much love! You can view that here. Also, this is why I’ve been so MIA lately. But things are really turning back to normal. I’ve felt this on my heart for a while and really felt compelled to share. Never feel ashamed of who you are and embrace your feelings inside. Much Love my friends!