Getting a breast augmentation is a big decision. It seems so common but it’s almost never talked about. Today, I’m hoping that sharing my experience will shed some much needed light on the subject. Or at the least, open it up for discussion. My hope is not to persuade anyone to do it, or not to because that is your decision to make. It was my choice to move forward with it but before I talk about that, let me share with you my journey that led me to this point.
As I write this, I’m bra-less. You might think that’s a boastful way to enter in a conversation about fake boobs but prior to the surgery, bra-less was my motto. I’ve always had a small bust. Ask anyone. It was senseless to wear a bra when there’s wasn’t really a size small enough for me. Especially after nursing. There were even times in my past, when others would call me names and post bikini pictures of me on shaming forums (remember the dirty.com?). Those days were hard but they weren’t the cause of my decision, believe it of not. I was proud of my body because I was strong, had long legs, a great booty and a flat sculpted tummy. I didn’t care too much about what I “didn’t have” because of what I did have.
I am proud to say my kids weaned themselves slowly, safely and without any regret both after 14 months. There wasn’t really any question in my mind to stop nursing. I actually loved it. It put me in a good mood even though I was always thirsty and hungry! However, my breasts hated it. They shrank smaller and smaller as my children began to eat and drink food. Finally after Penny was completely done, I got a good hard look at my chest for the first time in a long time and began to cry. That would only mark the beginning of a tumultuous time where my view of my body brought me shame in front of my husband. The one person who told me I was beautiful no matter what was being shunned from seeing me naked.
“I reacted terribly when he would make comments or jokes (not intending on hurting me) about the little hormonal hairs that would burst through my downward facing nipple, reminding me that my deflated, defeated boobs were still here. “
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I identified myself as “boyish” a long time ago with narrow hips, long limbs but to add a flat chest on top of it only solidified my self loathing attitude. I was ashamed. I also felt like it was something I had once, but was taken away. I tried explaining this to my husband who took an ear each time I’d burst in to tears about it. I felt so strong being able to feed my children with my own body, like my breasts were finally rising to occasion as nature intended but when it was all over, I felt empty inside. I’d felt this feeling before, after I birthed my children too. Similar to when a butterfly leaves its cocoon to fly away, so was the shell of me. Being left behind.
After much thinking, I decided to do a few things for myself. I went out with friends. I scheduled time with my husband. I created a schedule that allowed me to meditate in prayer, listened to podcasts and became vegan! I devoted my time online to my blog and growing a business plan for our company we wanted to start the following year.
Luckily, my husband all the while, had scheduled a doctor visit about getting a breast augmentation. I was so thrilled that he had planned it for me. We met with a few doctors (is 5 a lot?) and finally went with the Beverly Hills Physicians here in Beverly Hills. We met with my Doctor and scheduled a date. It almost went too fast but I was so ready. Prior to that visit, I had no one to talk to about surgery. It kinda bummed me out that no one was really sharing about their experience. Why?
After meeting a week before and giving the Doc some blood, I was set and ready. I went in nervous as heck. I think I was shaking I was so nervous. They gave me a gown, let me say goodbye to Romeo, and led me to my bed. All I remember is the miserably, uncomfortable countdown with the mask of gas over my face.
“When I awoke, I immediately asked the nurse, in my most flattering dazed voice, if I “had boobies now” to which she replied, excitedly, “YES, YOU DO!”
I tried relaxing as she mentioned I should be experiencing pressure on my chest and slower motor abilities. I was wheeled out to the garage where my husband was waiting with my kids and becoming more aware of the pain in my chest. I felt like someone was sitting on me and each time I breathed, I felt it even more.
I was wrapped up by some bandages and a surgery bra (which I still wear today!) meant to assist me if it needed to be removed. I dared not. I didn’t even want to touch the area it hurt so much. I didn’t remember being in this much pain and discomfort. My initial thought was “what did I just. do?” I had been a vegan for 6 months prior to going in but that ended when I couldn’t keep anything down with the drugs I’d been given. A good week passed by and I barely moved from the couch. I could’t shower or sleep laying down. I decided to stop taking the drugs and also decided to eat chicken soup. (so not vegan)
Things started to get better. I accepted my spot on the couch and my barely clean hair that couldn’t be reached even if I tried. The tightness in my chest lessened and before I knew it, I was visiting my Doctor again for a check up. He removed the bandages, told me to massage the area and sent me home. I was too embarrassed to ask him to go in to detail about the massage. I googled it instead. I felt so much better that I made it to my friends wedding and Thanksgiving at my Mom’s house. Some family members didn’t even notice. That’s because they aren’t that big. Yep. My breasts are barely a C cup roughly.
It was almost 4 months when I finally got a new bra. Because as I mentioned before, I’m used to being bra-less. I didn’t go out and get the high profile boobs at 700 CC’s. Instead, I brought a photo of my modest chest when I was still nursing. I specifically stated that I wanted the most natural ones so I went with Silicone gel, tear-drop shaped implants placed under the breast tissue. There are several reasons why I chose this however, your reasons will differ due to self-preference.
Things you will want to consider:
High profile? Natural tear drop? The important thing is that the breast implants you choose conform to your own shape and size – nobody else’s. Some women prefer a round shape, while others may want surgery to correct sagging with a more natural teardrop shape.
There are different types of placements for breast implants, as well as different placements for incision sites. This will depend on your own breast tissue, your body history (whether you will be nursing later, etc.) or where you prefer the surgery incision.
Take the cost of the implants themselves into consideration. Teardrop shaped implants often cost more, as they require a textured surface to avoid rotation and distortion. Silicone is longer lasting but is more expensive than saline. Talk with your partner or friends who’ve made those purchases and ask them for advice. It’s a big investment. You will want to make the right choice.
Now, a year later, I’m the same girl sitting at my desk, narrow hips and all. But this time, I’ve accepted the things I can’t change. I’ve embraced my body and challenged it’s strength & healing. I’m optimistic about the future and my relationship’s have blossomed. I learned to extend myself grace, work on what I can improve, trust that my husband is here for me no matter what and try to be honest in all aspects of my life. Oh, and I got an augmentation. See, before I got my boobs done, I was still me. I was still kind, hard working, happy and enjoyed dancing in the mirror with my kids. Getting surgery doesn’t change you from a nobody to a self confident somebody. I want my children to see that beauty is deep within you and it’s what you do with it that makes you gorgeous.
“Let the beauty we love be what we do.” -Rumi
All bra’s pictured here were given to me by True & Co. When I was putting this post into writing, True & Co. came to mind right away. I had been following them on Instagram for a while now and loved their story. There’s no need for a fitting room or measuring tape. They simply ask you to take a quiz and then pick out the top three bra’s that fit your questionnaire. I instantly fell in love with the baby-soft material and lux, deep colors. They made my shopping experience so perfect that I want to extend it to you. You can use code: TRUEIG15 for 15% off at checkout.
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Did you find this helpful? If you are thinking about getting an augmentation or you already have, feel free to reach out to me. Send me an email or share your experience below. Let’s make it something to be proud of, something normal and not shameful. Let’s lift each other up for their reasons and not tear them down for wanting something for themselves.