I am in the thick of the most painful time of my life. And although I’m a firm believer that we should teach, write and share from our wounds, not our scars, I am publicly acknowledging that my life, right now, has been shook to the very core. The most important people in it, have witnessed firsthand my tears and pain. Why am I telling YOU this? Because we are all broken but that’s how the light gets in. And when we shed light to the shards strewn across the floor, the light reflects the most gorgeous, unparalleled pattern. Each person is unique and their struggle’s might not be identical to yours but their strength might motivate you to find your passion.
The word passion actually comes from the Latin root pati-, meaning suffering, or enduring. I was surprised to find that out during a Sarah Jakes sermon from One Church here in LA. She followed up with a question I pondered for quite a while, “What are you willing to suffer for?” I contemplated my current situation and how I’ve handled it thus far. The feelings I’ve been feeling of being alone are enough to bring me to my knees and what I’ve always gravitated towards is community and conversation. However, this has come easier to me as I’ve learned about my personality and such. It might not always come easy to you. But that’s where this story comes to life. The word passion is often used as a “sexy” word. And that passion can lead to your purpose. However it’s important to take notice that if we only share the accomplishments and the rewards and not acknowledge the suffering we had endured, we will no doubt create a distorted vision that passion is void of any sort of discomfort. This is why those lovely folks on Instagram who post the before and after pictures of their weight loss get such great engagement. We all want to see the journey but sometimes the one who is in the climb, doesn’t want to see their reflection.
The word passion actually comes from the Latin root pati-, meaning suffering, or enduring.
Whats wrong with putting your best foot forward? This disillusioned view will cause others to veer from their passion as soon as there’s a bump in the road. Do you ever look up to someone because they have pretty pictures and everything looks so put together? I surely do. It’s a surface portion of a life that’s impossible to maintain. I have mentioned this before, and it’s THE best (and worst) representation of my former self. I used to be a go-go dancer in Hollywood. Go-go dancers were the girls who dressed in bikinis and danced at night clubs giving Flo Rida the lyrical content for his song “Low” featuring T-Pain. Remember the “boots with the fur” line? Anyways, I always got asked if I worked out because, good gracious, I had a phenomenal set of abs. I cringe at my reply now looking back. I would lean in as if I was going to pitch them my up-and-coming youtube fitness page but instead, Id shout, “I don’t work out!” As a woman in her early thirties, I hate that girl who forgot to mention that she DID workout on occasion and had a fairly decent diet + dancing is major cardio… Enter, ABS. It’s human nature to hide behind the surface of our insecurities. It feels good to look good. But not if what lies under the surface is brokenness. I know I might have caused some of those curious women to feel a little disappointed but that was before I had a sense of compassion.
If the word passion comes from the word suffering, compassion means to suffer-with: the compassionate aren’t immune to other people’s pain. And passion is, at its core, a form of pain that demands it be quenched.
I learned compassion for others because I had suffered alone and I knew first hand what it was like. What am I willing to suffer for? Well, right now, I’m willing to suffer for my family. My marriage. My faith and my job as a blogger. I endure because I want to manifest what God has for me. I take therapy, I read books, I choose rising early over staying out late, I chose to be open and vulnerable because growth can come only after the storm. And maybe you are struggling too. If you are in the storm as I am, come by and reach out. If not me, reach out to someone you can trust. I highly suggest listening to the sermon, From weeping to walking by Sarah Jakes Roberts on youtube. Click here for the link. It’s trans formative! For now, I am choosing to greet each day in prayer. I am in the climb but I refuse to stop reaching for the top no matter how much I struggle. Hopefully someday I can tell the story that gave me this new wound, once it’s fully healed. Until then, go with grace, forgiveness and passion. ♥
Matching Outfit details:
Penny is wearing a dress from Cotton On Kids, vans sneakers, a denim jacket by Levis and her attitude is from her Mama.
Until next time,